It's fucking confusing. all of it. i'm just confused all day every day. I hate it so much but there doesn't seem to be anything I can do about it.
I'm not in love with anyone anymore and no one is in love with me so I'm in this awkward place of being unloved and I have been for like the last year. After all this time I'm still barely okay with it. Fortunately I have learned to like myself on my own, without needing all those compliments and crap that I've always depended on men to give me. Fuck that. I'll only have me in the end anyways.
But who even cares about my small little dumb life in this huge hectic crowded world? There are certainly better things to be concerned with. I would like to be concerned about anything but myself but that's difficult in the world we live in today. I can't even handle all the thoughts in my head all the time. I'm constantly feeling overwhelmed. I can't be the only person like this. I know there's more. Why don't we talk about it? Why can't we have conversation about how messed up, lost, and confused we are? I don't want to have to hire a therapist for that. Can't someone just be real with me?
I'm not on drugs I promise. I'm scatter brained lately.
I'm going to go drink some white wine and forget I wrote this.
bye.
