hey chris?

hey chris.
whenever I listen to Breaking Benjamin it reminds me of June and driving around to rando places like the mall in your pretty little lude because I threw a fit about not going anywhere. lololol.
i love how you always put up a fight, but then give in anyway. :)
same goes for me.
i don't actually know if you read this anymore but whateva whateva i do what i wanttttt.
i miss you. 22 days until i see you ♥
kaygottagoloveyoubyeeeeee!

i do it all

for you, for you.

unexpected breakdown.

igdjidofjglfkjgldfjkhgskjdfhgkfjgsfg.
suck hard, especially when on the phone with the boyf, while he's playing cod with his friends...and i just sit there and seem silent and lame.
just comes from nowhere. all the sudden just bursting into tears and little sobs.
only able to collect a few reasons.
i just don't know what to do with myself sometimes. this is ridiculous.

one day..

this is what i'd like things to look like,sooner rather than later would be nice:

• living with boyf in an apartment, preferably NC, virginia, CALIII, just not expensive ass jersey....
• nice little jobs, don't need anything too lavish...not that high maintenance promise.
• BIG TV in our living room of course....so we can watch our football games and have little football parties...GAME DAYYYY. also so i can do my yoga errryy dayy and not have to look at this tiny screen..
• we'll have awesome gym memberships and work out togetherrrr....i'll beat his assss (:
• A GIANT BED WITH LOTS OF BLANKETS AND PILLOWS FOR ME THROW ALL OVER THE WORLD WHEN I FEEL THE NEED TO ♥  
• we'll have a cute little kitty or twoooooo<3333 SHORT TAILED BOBCATS PLSSSS. or RUMPY<3
• i want a puppy but chris is a little bitch about it....we're getting a husky!
• oh  we'll also need that TV for all the random movies we have to watch and  SOPRANOS. ALL UP IN OUR FACE. i wanna feel like tony soprano is beating the shit out of MEEE. hell yeahhh
• go on a date at least once a week, to our (in future) favey japanese placee
• we'll go on random road trips like i enjoy..
• mostly i just want to be able to spend time with my best friend/boyf without there ever being an issue. :/ 

i'm going to NC in a few days...I'm really exciteddd (: i've been running erry day again and now doing yoga...i feel goooooooooooood and i actually look a little better already. just have to get this me constantly looking dead/tired in the face thing under control...lolssss.

i'll only be there until saturday butttt still....that's two/threeish more days with fave personnn♥
couldn't ask for more right now. i need it. his leaving last time was kinda abrupt, even though i should've expected it, but...i don't know....dgkjdhsgkdfkgj i just like going down to north carolineyyyy and not having to worry about things here for the time being...and i love being hilarious with the boyf so we have more to quote each other on. :)
kayyy gotta go shower before work and whatnottt.
BYEEEEE

WEIGHT LOSS YOGA IN 30 MINUTES PART 1 OF 4: CORE WARM UP AND SALUTATIONS

SHIT'S INTENSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE BROOOOOOOOOOO.
feels gooood
yoga is a drug.

Yoga For Your Butt with Tara Stiles

new daily routine?
i think so.
:)
feels amazingggg

Let It rolll baby, rollllllllll

first song I ever learned on bass.<3

although, on their actual albums and studio recordings, the Doors used a keyboardist because they didn't have a bass player..

you take the breath right out of me.

Remember when..
                            you constantly kept trying to take my blanket?
and then stole and threw my pillow like a little bitch?


"oh, sorry about that.."

                  steal my blanket.

"well that was pretty fucky."

                   kiss me, steal your pillow. 
                   blanket on floor.

"I don't feel like using it so you can't either."

                   push me off the bed.

ARE YOU GONNA BEAT THE SHIT OUTTA ME?

let's do it again sometime.

          watch sopranos all day.

                      laugh until we cry. 

                              hug until we sleep.

you know dear, I love you more than anything.&hearts;

taken from my secret creepin journal i write in ERRYYY DAY. 

written on 9/29/10.

right after virginia.

setrdtfgyuhij can't sleeepp

boyfff went to sleep :(
i can't sleep for the life of meeee. fdgjdlfkgkjdlfg
too much ishh going onnn.
i don't know what to do.
but i know i can't wait to hug chris again and feel like everything's fineee.
♥
i miss you. i need you. come hereeee.

CHRISTMAS PRESENT FOR MY BOYF SHHHHHHHH

CHRIS DON'T LOOK!

getting my boyf this for christmas fershizzle bitchessss (:
he'll marry me.





just kidding. nothing would influence him that much.

love you chriscakes<3 :]

check it outttt :D

i miss snow ):

love this....

took this last winter and just edited it a few months ago....i don't know why but i realllllyyy really like it..

june.mm

it's funny how the second you hear a certain song, it puts you immediately back to a memory linked to it..
every time I hear any of this song, I'm mentally placed back in June..back in Chris's bed, waking up to it every morning when his mom called...love his mom♥
or in his bed, kissing and squeezing him, then hearing it....his response (always): '*super sigh* ghdfjhsg whatttt who the helll-' almost always his mamaaa.
or laying on his couch, well....laying on him, on his couch...watching either the office or sopranos, or some random movie...and hearing this song blast out of nowhereee. usually either mom, cockblocker, or a random. yeppp i'm a creeper.
i miss those first ten days we spent together in june though. fuck, i miss the last ten days we spent in fuckass jersey together....
but june was...different...in a really good way.
i'm a little stuck on this song because of him.
♥
thanks bitchh.

And your strength is devastating, in the face of all these odds..

mmm here i am. stuck in jersey.
never related to Springsteen's good old Jersey angst more.
DAMNITTT JUST WANT MY CAR BACK DGJLDKFJGLKDFJGLKFDG

I miss Chris....especially watching random movies and shows with him..hanging on him while doing so. attacking him with kisses and whatnot. (:

someone help me show my mother she doesn't need her fucking asshole of a husband. kaythanksssss.
gon go explore my busted up roooom.

I LOVE CHRIS.

.

i hate when people doubt my capabilities.

when in jail cells......

I sing Bruce Springsteen and do crunches. Stand on the toilet. Cry. Lay down for a nap. Never did nap....then I escape. I learned a lot in prison.

ballllllsss

ayoooo
i love chris<3
kaybyeee